2022 DSE 英文卷三 Part B2 考評報告重點｜Shiny Diamond Lighting 三大寫作任務拆解

如果你以為揀B2就係因為想避開B1嘅「易題」, 咁你就要小心. 2022年有72.2%考生揀B2, 以為難題會高分, 點知平均分只有43.4%, 仲難過去年. 其實B2考嘅唔係你識唔識抄Data File, 而係你識唔識「改寫」同「對應語境」. 今年角色係Nico Lin, 喺Shiny Diamond Lighting Ltd做PR, 老闆Floyd Mann叫你寫三樣嘢: 公司網頁歷史、覆居民會投訴信、展覽開幕演講. 三個task三種語氣, 搞亂咗就會死得好慘, 以為自己寫得多其實完全離題.

Task 8寫公司歷史放網頁, 18分, 平均分47.2%, 係B2最好分嘅一題. 但係好分唔代表易攞滿分, 反而因為大家分數集中, 你要突圍就要贏細節. 題目要你講Pris Fong點解創辦公司、點解叫Shiny Diamond、點樣實現夢想, 同埋1990年後公司發展同認受. 資料來源包括podcast、newspaper clipping、diary extracts、performance report, 你要識得synthesise, 將唔同source嘅資料拼埋一齊, 唔好淨係抄一段就以為交差.

強嘅考生會揀料, 用first person 'we' 同 'our', 營造親切網頁語氣, 例如 'Welcome to our website. How much do you know about our history? If you are interested in knowing more about it, read on!' 或者 'Our company, Shiny Diamond Lighting Ltd, was founded in 1981 by Ms Pris Fong, who had an unusual experience during her climb on Manaslu mountain.' 呢種語氣直接同讀者對話, 符合網頁genre, 令人覺得間公司有人味. 弱嘅考生就相反, 由頭到尾用third person 'it' 同 'they', 變晒官方報告, 讀者睇落會覺得係外人寫, 冇歸屬感, 網頁變成維基百科.

考評特別提到, 有考生將Manaslu爬山嘅無謂細節抄晒, 例如幾多度雪、幾辛苦、幾多個救護人員, 結果又長又離題. 其實你只需講重點: Pris喺1980年爬Manaslu受傷, 喺Kathmandu醫院養傷期間諗通要開neon light公司, 個名來自佢畫嘅雪山鑽石圖, 就咁簡潔就得. 讀者想知嘅係公司點嚟, 唔係登山日記. Item 8.2同8.8特別難. 8.2要你結合newspaper clipping同diary, 講Pris點解決定開neon light公司. 弱嘅考生拆唔開兩個source, 抄完diary又抄newspaper, 但係冇講到重點係「受傷後反思人生, 決定追夢」. 你要將兩個source嘅資訊fuse埋, 用一句講晒因果關係, 而唔係分開兩句各講各.

8.8講2021年攞到Neon Award, 有考生完全漏咗, 因為podcast講awards嗰陣佢哋冇記低. 聽podcast時, 一聽到award、recognition、achievement呢啲字, 就要即刻寫低, 因為公司歷史一定會用到, 而且係highlight公司信譽嘅絕佳材料. Items 8.6同8.7要處理圖表, 講員工數目同profit增長. 好多同學犯嘅錯係照抄數字, 例如 'In 1990 there were 14 staff. In 2000 there were 40 staff.' 呢種寫法好機械, 似報告唔似網頁. 你應該講trend, 例如 'Since 1990, our company has grown steadily, with staff numbers rising from just 14 to 80 in 2022, while profits have soared from HK$20 million to HK$300 million.' 用簡單sentence structure講趨勢, 就會高分過逐個數字報, 而且讀者易明.

Task 9覆Wan Yuen Estate Residents' Association嘅email, 17分, 平均分46.9%. 呢題考你diplomatic writing, 係職場溝通嘅核心. 居民會投訴兩樣嘢: 光污染同旋轉立方體安全. 考評強調, 根據證據, Shiny Diamond其實未做錯任何事, 所以你千祈唔好開頭就道歉, 一道歉就變相承認公司有錯, 之後再解釋都冇用, 印象分已經輸晒.

強嘅考生識得避開 'fault' 同 'blame' 等對抗性字眼, 跟從management meeting minutes建議, 強調公司好關心附近居民. 弱嘅考生就亂咁抄Data File, 例如抄晒 'the early theory about the accident was that it was due to poor maintenance', 但係唔知後文講獨立工程師團隊confirm咗係maintenance問題, 而original installation其實passed all safety checks. 如果你只抄前半句, 讀者會以為公司安裝有問題, 斷章取義係大忌. 正確做法係引用 'the leader of an independent team of engineers' 嚟增加公信力, 講清楚安裝本身無問題, 之後係管理處冇做好maintenance, 呢個係outside our control.

考評建議嘅結構係: 開頭多謝對方關注, show appreciation for their concerns; 中段解釋法例, 戶外燈光11pm後要dimmed by building management, 呢個係法律規定; 強調公司同各管理處緊密合作確保定期維修; 結尾offer同居民會見面, 顯示誠意. 語氣要polite、informative, 唔好defensive. 記住, 寫email唔係辯論賽, 你係想安撫對方, 同時保護公司聲譽. 用 'We understand your concerns and appreciate you bringing this to our attention' 而唔係 'You are wrong', 用 'We would like to assure you' 而唔係 'It's not our fault'. 呢啲softening phrases先係職場email嘅精髓.

Task 10寫展覽開幕演講, 18分, 平均分36.2%, 係最難一題. 你要代Pris Fong喺Hong Kong Art Museum發言, 講未來燈光展覽. 開頭已經寫好, 你要寫三個main body paragraphs: 3D projection technology、drone displays、neon lights lasting appeal. 資料來源包括podcast、product brochure、customer survey, 你要識得由唔同source抽料, 再按演講邏輯排列.

Podcast items 10.1、10.2、10.8、10.9最難, 好多同學聽podcast時記唔晒, 或者記咗但寫唔清. 建議你聽之前睇定三個heading, 預計每個topic會有咩關鍵詞. 例如3D projection可能講The Breeze同The Wall兩個產品, drone可能講cost同safety, neon可能講warm glow同craftsmanship. 聽到相關字眼就歸類去相應paragraph, 咁 tidy-up time就唔會亂. Items 10.3同10.7考product brochure同survey results, 呢部分相對易處理. 例如你可以講The Breeze有rotating blade of light, 做到3D-like visuals; The Wall係projection onto wall of water. Survey話93%人鍾意neon lights嘅warm glow, 只有2%覺得old-fashioned.

但係有考生竟然抄 'neon lights are old-fashioned' 落演講稿, 完全搞錯survey意思. 2%係極少數, 你應該強調絕大多數人鍾意neon嘅溫暖光感, 而唔係放大負面聲音. 呢個錯誤源於indiscriminate copying, 見字就抄, 冇理解context. 演講語氣同文章完全唔同. 強嘅考生會用 'you' 同 contractions, 例如 'I'm sure you'll agree', 'Let's take a look', 加埋signposting: 'First, let's consider 3D projections.' 'Now, turning to drone displays.' 'Finally, what about neon?' 弱嘅考生就寫到似formal article, 長句連篇, 冇演講感. 考評建議寫完自己大聲讀一次, 睇下似唔似人講嘢. 如果讀到氣都唔順, 就係句子太長, 要斬開.

結尾更加重要. 強嘅考生會reference展覽, 例如 'After listening to my speech, I hope you now have a better understanding of different kinds of lighting displays. Enjoy the exhibition on the future of light displays here today.' 呢種closure令聽眾覺得你係為呢個場合而寫, 唔係交功課. 弱嘅考生就abrupt ending, 講完neon就完, 冇同現場觀眾connect, 變成一篇普通essay. 演講一定要有call to action或者audience engagement, 例如 'Thank you for joining us today' 或者 'I look forward to seeing you at the exhibition', 呢啲先完整.

總括嚟講, 2022年B2最大啟示係「語境意識」. 網頁要親切, email要外交, 演講要engaging. 好多同學以為B2只係考你搵唔搵到資料, 其實更重點係你點樣manipulate語言去fit個genre. Data File係原材料, 你係廚師, 唔好將原材料直接端上桌, 要煮過先. 聽podcast時預先睇定note-taking sheet嘅headings, tidy-up time整理notes, 寫之前再睇清楚task要求. 時間管理方面, Task 10最難, 值得預留多啲時間, 但係Task 8同9都唔可以hea做, 因為佢哋係穩陣攞分位. 記住, 揀B2嘅人多, 競爭大, 你要贏人就要贏細節, 贏語氣, 贏讀者意識.