2018 DSE 英文卷三 Part B2 考評報告重點｜Funding Report、Email 點寫先唔會失分？

2018年DSE英文卷三Part B2，overall mean score有50.4%，standard deviation 18.3%，比起往年嘅B2其實稍為容易咗少少，但唔代表可以大意。今次B2圍繞住Griffin Workshop嘅新board game "Escape to Hong Kong Island"，你要扮Sammy Tsang做三個task。以下就逐個講有咩中伏位同埋點樣可以攞高分，等大家唔會重蹈覆轍。

Task 8要寫份funding report，比較兩個籌款方法：一係申請MelakaBank嘅Acorn Grant，二係用網上眾籌平台Gamezstart。呢個task mean score最低，只有47.8%，係三個task之中最難。考評局話好多同學連report格式都搞唔清楚，有人寫成advantage-disadvantage essay，完全冇report嘅樣。其實份report應該要有title，例如"Funding Report on Escape to Hong Kong Island"，跟住要有brief introduction講吓份report嘅目的，然後分headings或者numbered headings去organize內容。強嘅考生會引用返Angel Fu喺email提到嘅March meeting，寫"In the March meeting, we discussed the funding option for Escape to Hong Kong Island. This report summarises the choices and the advantages and disadvantages..."，一嚟就orientate到個reader，等佢知你寫緊咩。弱嘅考生就開頭好abrupt，甚至冇title，或者用啲prepared phrases好似"Let me talk about the advantages of using Gamezstart"，完全唔似report。

內容方面，Acorn Grant係銀行贊助，有HK$250,000，一次過畀，no strings attached，仲有advisors提供financial advice同advertising support，贏咗之後一年都有支援。Gamezstart就係網上眾籌，好處係可以喺網站宣傳吸引投資者，自己set target，達標就有錢，完成後送一份遊戲俾每個投資者。但壞處就嚟自Anita Chumak個blog同留言：大company而家都用Gamezstart宣傳新產品，你個project隨時被忽略，變成tiny fish competing with a great big shark；另外有朋友反映shipping成本好高，可能花晒大部分籌得嘅錢。考評局發現好多同學直接照抄Data File入面嘅口語，例如"so everybody's happy"、"it's a win-win situation"、"a bunch of stuff"、"no ifs or buts"，咁樣會嚴重影響appropriacy。你要識得將呢啲口語transform做formal written English，例如"all parties benefit"或者"without conditions"。其實講真，見到引號入面嘅口語，九成九都要改過先可以用。仲有，blog下面嘅comments section提到兩個distinct disadvantages，好多同學睇漏眼，只係抄blog正文，結果content分大減。Elliot Ness留言話佢朋友Laz用Gamezstart幾乎籌唔到錢，只係親友俾少少，最後要abandon個project；Fidel C就話雖然籌到錢，但shipping成本高到花晒。呢兩點都要寫入report。記住，Data File每一個角落都要睇晒啊，包括圖片caption、comments、甚至email signature都可能藏住線索。

Task 9要寫email俾Crossroads Game Café嘅Jacky Shin，確認比賽安排同要求50% discount。呢個task相對易，mean有55.7%，但都有中伏位。首先個tone要拿捏得好，因為係ongoing correspondence，可以slightly less formal，但要求discount嗰part要handle得小心，唔好太direct。考評局話有啲同學竟然寫"Dragon Workshop would be willing to accept a reduced discount of 40%"，咁樣好似講價緊，好容易upset個reader，以為你仲價。正確做法係禮貌咁提出，例如"Given our limited budget, we would greatly appreciate it if you could offer a 50% discount on the venue fee"，態度謙啲，效果就好得多。記住，request discount係敏感話題，用conditional sentence或者modal verb會令語氣柔和好多。

另外一個大問題係tense。Skype chat入面Eric Park已經接受咗邀請，但好多同學寫成"We will invite Eric Park to come"，變成將來式，完全誤導個reader，因為Jacky Shin已經要send email俾regular customers講有special guest。正確應該寫"Eric Park has confirmed that he will attend"或者"Eric Park will be joining us"。呢個位真係幾陰濕，聽錄音嗰陣要聽清楚係已經發生定係將會發生，睇Data File都要留意email chain嘅時間線。建議大家整理timeline，寫低邊啲事已經confirm，邊啲仲未做，咁就唔會寫錯tense。例如Skype chat入面講"Eric Park is invited and accepts"，即係已經搞掂，要用present perfect或者past tense報告，唔好用will。

Task 10要寫email俾artist Ryan Au，俾feedback佢嘅artwork samples，仲要講revised artwork嘅deadline，重點係要impress upon佢唔好遲，但又唔好upset佢。呢個task mean 49.7%。考評局發現好多同學漏咗deadline，或者雖然有寫但係照抄Data File嘅"get it done by 27th of this month"，咁樣好rude，好似命令緊人。強嘅考生會寫得禮貌啲，例如"We would be grateful if you could submit the revised samples by 27 April"或者"Please ensure the revised artwork reaches us by 27 April"，用modal verbs如"would"、"could"會soften好多。記住，同artist溝通要客氣，畢竟你仲要佢幫手改畫，語氣硬咗隨時適得其反。

內容方面，你要summarize問卷結果同staff comments。問卷顯示artwork on the map方面，parents同12-15 year olds嘅反應唔同，parents多數love it，但青少年就ok；cards方面就相反，parents hate it，青少年love it。另外readability都係問題，大部分人都覺得not really easy to read。Skype chat入面Mabel Lau話artwork太血腥，"too much blood"，呢個同Eric Park喺podcast講嘅一致，話parents通常係買遊戲嘅人，如果artwork太暴力或者graphic，佢哋就唔會買。考評局發現弱嘅考生傾向report晒所有數據，但強嘅考生識得discriminate，揀最relevant嘅講。例如你唔使逐個percentage報，可以講"While parents appreciated the map artwork, the card designs were considered too violent, particularly by parents, which could affect sales"。組織方面，建議分三段：positive feedback、negative feedback with suggestions、deadline，或者用artwork area分類，例如一段講cards、一段講map，每段包埋好壞評語，咁reader就容易follow。考評局特別讚強嘅考生會用cohesive devices同effective topic sentences，例如"Regarding the map artwork..."、"Turning to the card designs..."，令成篇文flow得好順。

考評局喺overall recommendations入面特別提到，弱嘅考生無論B1定B2都成日照抄Data File，咁會影響coherence同appropriacy。因為Data File入面有啲係口語、有啲係informal register，直接搬落去會同你寫嘅formal text格格不入。所以大家一定要練習manipulate language，將聽到嘅口語轉做書面語，將email入面嘅點轉做report嘅結構。另外summarizing visual information係必考技術，睇圖表要揀重點，唔好逐個數字搬字過紙。例如見到bar chart，淨係講最顯著嘅difference就夠，唔使講晒每個category。Task 7、8、10都考summarize，好多同學寫到超字，記住conciseness係workplace communication嘅關鍵。

最後，時間管理要好，建議寫完留少少時間check consistency，確保成篇文嘅register同grammar都一致。做到以上幾點，B2要攞高分絕對唔係難事。記住啦，Data File係工具，唔係答案，點樣用得好先係攞分關鍵。平時練習多啲transform同summarize，考試就唔會手忙腳亂。