2017 DSE 英文卷三 Part B2 考評報告重點｜Data File 整合 + 寫作技巧拆解
如果話Part A係考你聽唔聽得明，咁Part B2就係考你「聽完之後寫唔寫得好」。2017年B2圍繞Dragon Peak Properties (DPP) 嘅Golden Flower Island發展項目，你要扮演Gehry Zhang，幫老闆Norman Kwok做三個寫作任務：會議摘要(Task 8)、環保網頁概述(Task 9)、同邀請信(Task 10)。考評局話今年B2 mean score係41.2%，三個task難度各異，其中Task 9最難，Task 10相對易上手。想知點樣喺B2突圍？即刻睇落去，我會逐個task講低分考生犯咩錯，高分考生又做啱咗咩。
Task 8: 會議摘要，點樣將七嘴八舌變成一份整齊文件
Task 8 mean有41.8%，要為老闆Norman Kwok準備一份summary document，整理員工對Golden Flower Adventure Mall概念圖嘅意見，準備下個禮拜同Manu Architects開會用。聽落好似好複雜，但其實考評局話高分考生做對咗以下幾樣嘢，低分考生就係跌咗喺呢幾個位。
首先，要識得「揀重點」。Data File入面有Mari Nakamura、Ripple Wu、Alison Lo等人嘅意見。Mari話 "Love their concept so far"，贊成保留waterfall、ship、lake，但叫佢哋 "drop the castle"。Ripple同意drop castle，仲話 "take out the shops" on the sailing ship，因為實際上唔可行，"can it really fit restaurants and shops when you think about it practically?" Alison Lo就提到Highland Adventure Centre嘅經驗，話waterfall高度要由40米減到30米，因為之前45米太高搞到形成雲霧，影響運作，"reducing the waterfall from 45 to 30 metres... no similar problems have occurred"。
考評局發現，低分考生成日犯一個錯：逐個員工嘅意見用reported speech寫，例如 "Mari Nakamura suggested including a swimming pool and Ripple Wu suggested to put the swimming pool under the waterfall"。咁樣寫雖然冇錯，但係太冗長，唔似summary，反而似逐句紀錄。高分考生會整合同類意見，例如寫 "Staff recommended dropping the castle and the shops on the sailing ship, while keeping the waterfall, ship and lake as key features"，將幾個人嘅意見歸納成一句簡潔嘅陳述。
另外，考評局特別提到waterfall高度呢個細節。正確寫法要講到 "the height of the waterfall needed to be 30 metres"，呢個資訊來自聽力錄音同Alison Lo嘅電郵。好多同學聽錄音時冇留意呢個數字，或者聽完冇同Data File嘅資料連結，結果漏咗呢個關鍵point。建議大家聽錄音時，特別留意數字、建議、修改要求，呢啲通常係摘要嘅核心內容。聽到 "30 metres", "45 metres" 呢啲數字，即刻寫低，然後睇吓Data File有冇相關資料可以cross reference。
語言方面，考評局話呢個task要用formal register，past tense，同modal verbs表達建議。例如寫 "we could have ziplines over the swimming pool" 比 "we suggest to have ziplines" 更加正式。低分考生成日用 "we suggest" 重複又重複，高分考生會轉用 "we could", "it was recommended that", "staff proposed that" 等等變化句式。記住，summary係寫俾老闆睇嘅文件，語氣要專業，唔好用口語化嘅表達，例如 "love it", "take out the shops" 呢啲Data File入面嘅口語，要轉成 "staff were in favour of", "it was recommended to remove" 等等。
Task 9: 環保網頁概述，最難搞嘅整合寫作
Task 9 mean只有36.3%，係今年B2最難嘅task。要你為DPP網頁寫一篇 "Dragon Peak's Commitment to the Environment in Hong Kong"，講公司喺香港做過咩環保工作，同埋而家點保護Golden Flower Island嘅生態。考評局話呢個task最考synthesizing能力，要將聽力內容、電郵、文章、會議紀錄等資料整合，仲要寫得似網頁介紹，唔係報告。
內容要分兩大part：公司過往嘅環保成就，同埋而家保護Golden Flower Island嘅措施。高分考生會提到DPP最近攞咗Greener Development Award，或者引用Hong Kong Real Estate Monthly文章講公司點樣投資環保建築，"Dragon Peak's win should come as no surprise given the amount the company has spent on environmentally friendly building technologies"。但考評局發現有同學寫咗澳洲Great Barrier Reef嘅捐款，雖然Data File有提，但係題目要求focus on Hong Kong，寫澳洲就係irrelevant，會扣分。呢個錯誤好常見，就係冇睇清楚題目要求，見到資料就抄。記住，題目講明 "in Hong Kong"，所有內容都要圍繞香港，海外嘅成就最多輕輕帶過。
講到保護Golden Flower Island，重點係保護極度瀕危嘅Splash of Gold Orchid同埋幫佢傳粉嘅Golden Dragon Tail Butterfly。Data File入面本書 "Flora and Fauna of South China" 提到，呢種蝴蝶係南中國唯一幫Splash of Gold Orchid傳粉嘅物種，而呢種蘭花而家只可以喺Golden Flower Island搵到。聽力部分提到保護蝴蝶嘅措施，包括起 "a wall of vegetation" 喺商場同自然區之間，用嚟 "minimise the noise and light pollution brought by human activities and not disturb the butterflies"。
考評局話低分考生喺呢部分成日犯三個錯。第一，位置錯誤。有同學寫 "a wall in the nature park"，但正確係 "between the mall and the natural area"。聽錄音時一定要記清楚物件嘅位置同方向，建議聽到 "between", "next to", "in front of" 呢啲preposition，即刻寫低，因為佢哋往往係得分關鍵。
第二，串錯字。有同學將 "a wall of vegetation" 寫成 "a war of vegetations"，完全變咗另一樣嘢。考評局話聽力寫作最怕就係聽完冇覆核，建議寫完之後一定要讀一次，睇吓意思通唔通。如果你寫完發現 "a war of vegetations" 唔知係咩，就要諗係咪串錯，應該係 "wall of vegetation"。
第三，冇解釋原因。高分考生會寫 "We would put up a wall of vegetation between the mall and the natural area to minimise the noise and light pollution brought by human activities and not disturb the butterflies"，將措施、位置、原因、目的一次過講清。低分考生可能只係寫 "the plants can grow up healthy"，完全冇講到重點係保護蝴蝶。記住，寫環保措施時，一定要講清楚 "what" (做咩), "where" (喺邊度), "why" (點解), "for whom" (為邊個)。
考評局仲提醒，呢篇文可以用第三人稱 "DPP" 或者第一人稱 "we" 嚟寫，但係唔好混亂，頭尾不一致。有啲同學開頭用 "DPP has committed to..."，中段突然變 "we will..."，尾段又變返 "the company..."，咁樣會影響coherence。建議寫之前決定好用邊個人稱，然後通篇保持一致。
Task 10: 邀請信，點樣說服明星出席開幕禮
Task 10 mean有47.0%，係B2最容易嘅task，但要攞滿分都有技巧。你要寫信邀請本地名人Ms Mariana Tse做Golden Flower Adventure Mall開幕禮嘅guest of honour，開幕日係24 December 2018。
考評局話呢個task有幾個扣分位。首先，低分考生成日漏寫重要細節，例如mall個名Golden Flower Adventure Mall、開幕日期、甚至年份。有啲人寫咗日期但漏咗年份，考評局話因為邀請信係for the following year，寫清楚年份好緊要。建議大家寫信前先list out所有必須資料：活動名稱、日期、時間、地點、對方角色，確保樣樣齊。
其次，語氣問題。有同學開頭好正式 "We would like Ms Tse to be our guest of honour"，但後尾突然變得好熟絡 "We hope you can be our guest!"，仲轉用 "you" 直接稱呼。考評局話呢種register inconsistency好致命，因為正式邀請信應該由頭到尾保持polite but formal嘅語氣。建議大家寫完之後檢查，確保稱呼同語氣一致。例如開頭用 "Ms Tse"，成封信都用 "Ms Tse"；開頭用 "we would like"，後尾就唔好突然變 "we hope you can"。
最緊要係persuasive element。考評局話Ms Tse成日推辭呢類邀請，所以信入面要提到佢感興趣嘅嘢。Data File入面嘅PlinyPedia entry話佢 "passionate about protecting the sea"，係Save Hong Kong Coral Communities嘅代言人，又鍾意游泳同潛水，"She just loves being up close and personal with all the marine life"。高分考生會將呢啲資料同DPP嘅環保工作連結，例如寫 "As someone who cares deeply about marine conservation, you may be interested to know that DPP has recently donated to coral preservation efforts" 或者 "We would be honoured if you, as an advocate for environmental protection, could declare our new pool open"。
低分考生就淨係寫 "Please come to our opening ceremony"，完全冇提到對方嘅興趣，咁樣就冇說服力。記住，邀請信唔係通知信，你要令對方覺得「呢個活動同我有關，我去係有意義嘅」。
考評局仲提到grammar一個常見錯誤：亂用 "will"。有同學寫 "You will be the first person to swim in the new pool"，聽落好似命令或者預言。高分考生會寫 "We would like you to be the first person to swim in the new pool"，用 "would like" 代替 "will"，語氣更加委婉得體。邀請信入面，多用 "would", "could", "may" 呢啲soften語氣嘅字，少用 "will", "must", "should" 呢啲硬繃繃嘅字。
另外，會議紀錄提到Ms Tse最近拒收過類似活動嘅酬金，所以團隊決定將酬金預算捐去佢揀嘅慈善機構。高分考生會喺信入面提到呢一點，顯示公司有誠意同尊重對方立場，例如 "We understand you prefer not to accept fees for such events, so we would like to donate the guest of honour fee to a charity of your choice"。呢個細節好加分，因為顯示你有睇晒所有資料，唔係淨係寫封普通邀請信。
總結備試策略
第一，聽力資料要連結Data File。B2好多答案都係聽力同閱讀資料cross-reference得出，聽錄音時要邊聽邊諗「呢樣嘢Data File有冇提過？」例如聽到waterfall高度，就要諗返Alison Lo封電郵講嘅30米。
第二，練習paraphrase。唔好直接抄Data File原句，要識得轉句式、轉詞彙，但保持原意。例如將 "love their concept so far" 轉成 "staff were generally satisfied with the initial plan"，將 "take out the shops" 轉成 "remove the retail facilities"。
第三，注意genre要求。Summary要concise，網頁概述要informative，邀請信要polite and persuasive。寫之前問自己三個問題：「我係邊個？」「寫俾邊個睇？」「目的係咩？」答到呢三條問題，語氣同內容自然會啱。
第四，檢查一致性。人稱、時態、語氣要由頭到尾一致，唔好中途變臉。例如決定咗用 "we" 就成篇用 "we"，唔好突然變 "the company" 或者 "DPP"。
第五，預留時間。Task 8建議字數around 220字，Task 9 around 150字，Task 10 around 100字。雖然Task 8同9字數較多，但唔好寫到超時，要留返時間檢查串字同grammar。考評局話好多同學寫得太長，結果冇時間做Task 10，或者做咗都冇時間檢查。
2017年B2整體嚟講，考驗嘅唔係你識幾多艱深字，而係你能否準確整合資料，再用適當語氣表達。記住，寫得多唔代表寫得好，精準、相關、有條理先係攞分關鍵。平時操練時，唔好淨係求其寫完就算，要對返marking scheme，睇吓自己漏咗邊啲point，語氣有冇出錯，咁先會有進步。