2015 DSE 英文卷三 Part B2 考評報告重點|職場電郵 + 官方回覆 + 粉絲文章 拆解

講完 Part A,嚟到 Part B2,呢度先係真正拉開差距嘅戰場。2015 年嘅 Part B2 繼續考驗大家嘅寫作功底,但唔同以往嘅係,今次嘅任務更加講求角色代入同語氣拿捏。Task 8 係職場電郵、Task 9 係代表公司回覆一位 teenager 嘅請求、Task 10 就係幫偶像寫粉絲網站文章反駁傳聞。考評報告清楚指出,好多考生就算英文文法冇大錯,都會因為「睇錯對象」同「用錯語氣」而大量失分。以下就逐個 Task 講解,用 2015 年嘅評分準則做藍本,等你知道點樣寫先至似一個真實嘅寫作者,而唔係一個背範文嘅應試機器。


首先講 Task 8,呢個係 workplace mail。考評報告特別強調 coherence 同 reader-friendliness,即係你要當對方係一個忙到甩轆嘅同事,唔會慢慢咀嚼你啲長篇大論。好多同學犯嘅致命錯誤,就係將所有嘢塞成一兩段大段落,然後仲要考官喺字裡行間搵你究竟想申請定係投訴,又或者你想對方做啲咩。2015 年嘅評分準則明確講到,適當使用 sections、bullet points、numbering 同 underlining 可以幫助 coherence。呢個唔係叫你亂畫花個版面,而係教你用視覺元素引導讀者,令佢一眼睇晒重點。例如如果你要列出幾個請求或者幾項資料,與其寫成一句過 "I would like to request A and B and also C is needed for the event",不如直接分點寫 "Please kindly arrange the following: 1. Venue booking for Central Theatre; 2. Equipment check before 6 p.m.; 3. Contact information for the dance group." 後者清晰得多,而且符合職場溝通嘅習慣。考評報告提到,有考生寫到長篇大論,但讀者要 puzzle over long paragraphs 先至work out 你想做咩,呢種寫法就算文法無錯,coherence 同 appropriacy 都會被扣減。


另外,tone 方面要 reasonably succinct,即係簡潔但唔係冷漠。好多考生以為職場電郵就要用超級冗長嘅開場白,例如 "I am writing to you today because I have a very important matter that I would like to bring to your kind attention at your earliest convenience...",其實呢啲廢話只會令讀者眼瞓,而且浪費你寶貴嘅寫作時間。考評報告提到,quality of data 比花巧嘅開場白更重要。你想講咩,開門見山講,但同時要保持禮貌。例如你可以寫 "I am writing to request leave on 18 May due to a prior commitment.",直接、清楚、有禮貌。建議大家平時多睇啲真實嘅 business email 範本,留意佢哋點樣用 "I am writing to..." 或者 "Could you please..." 呢啲直接但唔失禮嘅句式。記住,職場電郵最緊要係讓對方一眼睇晒你要做咩,唔好等佢猜,亦都唔好用十句廢話包裝一句正經事。


跟住講 Task 9,呢個 Task 幾有趣,你要扮 Starsky Chung 寫電郵畀一位叫 Ms. Ma 嘅人士,內容係代表公司正式批准一個請求。考評報告指出,好多考生完全無提及 previous correspondence,搞到封電郵睇落似係你第一次聯絡對方,完全唔記得咗 Data File 入面其實有前因後果。呢個係大忌,因為如果你唔提 "Thank you for your email dated 12 May..." 或者 "With reference to your previous request regarding...",就會顯得你好無禮,而且唔似一個跟進嘅商業溝通。建議大家一開頭就要講明 "Further to your email of [date]..." 或者 "Thank you for contacting us regarding...",呢啲句式唔係死背,而係要因應 Data File 入面嘅資料去改動日期同內容。有考生甚至寫到好似完全冇睇過之前啲信咁,由零開始介紹自己間公司,呢種做法 appropriacy 一定低分。


角色方面,你可以以 Starsky Chung 身份寫,亦可以代表 Malcolm Parker,但無論點都要講清楚你係邊個、代表邊間公司。考評報告提到,有考生混淆咗角色,寫到似朋友間嘅閒聊,例如用 "Hey Ms. Ma, no problem, you can have it! We are happy to help.",呢種 tone 對於一間公司嚟講就太過輕率。正確做法係用 reasonably formal but not overly so 嘅語氣,因為對方雖然係 teenager,但你係代表公司官方回覆。例如你可以寫 "We are pleased to inform you that your request has been approved.",然後再列出詳情,例如 "You may collect the items at our office between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on Monday." 結尾記得用 Yours sincerely 或者 Best regards,加上全名同職位,例如 "Starsky Chung, Public Relations Manager, Atlantic Plaza",呢啲細節好多同學漏咗,但對於建立專業形象同滿足 appropriacy 要求好緊要。建議大家寫之前喺草稿紙頂部寫低自己個角色、對象身份同寫作目的,寫完之後對照住檢查,確保每一句都符合呢三個設定。


最後嚟到 Task 10,呢個係全卷最考創意同同理心嘅部分,亦係最多人陰溝翻船嘅地方。你要為 Bubblegum 嘅 fan webpage 寫一篇文章,回應關於 Mark Nelson 同狗仔隊嘅傳聞。考評報告講得好清楚,tone 要 reasonably informal,但因為題目涉及嚴肅話題,所以又要 serious and informative。好多同學一見到「文章」兩個字就自動切換去 essay mode,寫到好似通識科議論文咁,由傳媒道德講到私隱權,完全唔記得自己係喺一個粉絲網站發文。呢個係致命錯誤。你嘅讀者係 Bubblegum 嘅 fans,佢哋已經知道 Mark Nelson 係邊個、係 band 入面嘅咩角色,所以你完全唔需要介紹 "Mark Nelson is a member of the famous band Bubblegum...",呢啲多餘資訊只會顯得你唔了解讀者,考官會視之為 lack of audience awareness。


考評報告特別提到,高分文章需要 strong coherence,尤其係 claim 同 rebuttal 之間要有 clear linkage。即係話,如果傳聞話 Mark Nelson 對 fans 無禮,你就要直接針對呢點反駁,而唔係東拉西扯講晒 band 嘅歷史。建議大家用明確嘅連接詞,例如 "While some people claim that Mark was rude to fans, the truth is quite the opposite." 或者 "Contrary to what has been reported in the media, our experience shows that Mark always takes time to greet supporters." 每一段都應該對應一個傳聞,然後用具體例子反駁,例如講返某次見面會 Mark 其實好有禮貌,或者描述佢點樣同 fans 互動。記住,你係寫畀 fans 睇,所以可以用 "we fans" 或者 "as supporters" 呢類帶有歸屬感嘅字眼,但同時要保持理性,唔好變成盲目護主嘅罵戰。適當運用 personal pronouns 同 direct address,例如 "you may have read the rumours, but let me tell you what really happened...",可以令文章更有親切感。考評報告亦提醒,vague or fuzzier links between each claim and the equivalent rebuttal 會 negatively affect coherence,所以千祈唔好寫完一個傳聞之後,反駁嗰段講緊另一樣嘢,兩段之間要有明顯對應關係。


總括 2015 年 Part B2,核心訊息就係「見人講人話,見鬼講鬼話」。Task 8 要當自己係職場新人,講求效率同清晰度;Task 9 要記住自己代表公司,講求禮節同連貫性,絕對唔可以當對方係陌生人;Task 10 要融入粉絲群體,講求共鳴但保持理性,用 rebuttal 去逐點反駁。好多同學以為英文寫作淨係睇文法,但 2015 年嘅考評報告一再證明,tone、audience awareness 同 coherence 往往係決定你係 Level 4 定 Level 5 嘅關鍵。平時練習,唔好淨係寫完就交,要搵個朋友扮讀者,問佢睇完之後明唔明你想做咩、感覺如何。寫作本質係溝通,唔係單向輸出,能夠因應對象調整自己嘅語言,呢個先係攞高分的秘訣,亦係 2015 年卷三最想教識大家嘅一堂。

 

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